Caged
by AZGirl
Summary: When all you have to do is pace, your thoughts can turn against you. Spoilers for 1.24 Oia'i'o.
1. Original Version

**Title**: Caged

**Summary**: When all you have to do is pace, your thoughts can turn against you.

**Disclaimer**: Hawaii Five-0 is not mine. I'm just borrowing the concepts and characters for a little while.

**Spoilers**: 1.24 Oia'i'o

**A/N**: This idea woke me up at 4.30 this morning. I'm kind of mad at it… I like my sleep.

I also didn't do my usual obsessive spelling and grammar checks…and I sort of ignored some legal issues/stuff.

**Warning/FYI**: If you've seen that there's a second chapter… Well, it's not. A second chapter, that is. The second 'chapter' is _only_ an alternate version of this one shot – _not_ a continuation – and references my story _Still the Song_ (takes place in the same 'verse so to speak). Basically it's two versions, one story.

ooooooo

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

It's over. Everything I've worked for is over.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

My life is over. Five-0 is no more.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

They think I killed the governor.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

Caught me with my gun in hand.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

I'm going to be dishonorably discharged from the Navy. Disgraced.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

O God, what would my father, my _grandfather_ think of me…?

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

I failed my team. Five-0 disbanded. I don't deserve to be a SEAL anymore.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

I saw Kono at booking. They must know she helped me steal from the evidence locker.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

Maybe I can make a deal… My life doesn't matter anymore.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

But maybe I can still save hers. Make sure she still gets to have a life of some sort.

_1… 2… 3… _

Mary.

4… 5…

What about my sister? Is she safe now? Or have I destroyed her life too?

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

Chin seems to be back with HPD. He's gotta know that I'd never –

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

Or, does he? And what about Danny? He said he was going to get me out of this…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

Believes I'm innocent, but he has his daughter, his family.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

He needs to focus on them. I don't matter anymore. I can't let him ruin his life for me.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… _

Wo Fat managed to take my family from me. Again.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

Betrayed. Duped. Set up. My only hope is the lack of motive, maybe some of the forensics.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

But even if I'm cleared of murder, I'm still guilty of theft. My life is still over.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

It's my fault. All my fault. No question about it.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

Laura Hill's death is my fault. Kono being implicated in that theft is my fault.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

There's too much evidence against me. And, if Danny keeps looking into the case—

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

I can't risk his life. When Danny visits, I'm going to tell him drop it. To let me go.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

He needs to be with Grace, with Rachel. He can go back to Jersey. Start again.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

My life is done. His doesn't have to be. I couldn't survive knowing he died trying to clear me.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

He'd never forgive me if Rachel and Grace's lives—

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

Grace. I'll never be Uncle Steve again. I'll just become a distant, foggy memory.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

It's probably better that way. I'm not dead yet, but… I may as well be.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

Solitary confinement. Or, what else is it called? Administrative segregation…for the rest of what remains of my life.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

I'm alone again. Just when I'd finally found my ohana and made a new life for myself.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

Found a brother in Danny. And now, it's gone. Taken away forever.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

My only chance to find any sort of peace with this…life…is to make a deal for Kono's. To separate myself from Danny and Chin.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

To be…alone.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… _

I've been in worse prisons than this, but never so unjustly imprisoned.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… _

My mistake was letting my emotions drive me. I shouldn't have…

_1… 2… 3… 4… _

…so grossly underestimated Wo Fat!

_1… 2… 3… 4… _

Damn it!

_I slam both my hands…once… twice…on the wall as hard as I can. The pain is a welcome punishment for my stupidity, my lack of foresight._

Wo Fat played me like a grand master of the chessboard. He's won and he's taken my life away… And I still don't know why!

_My shoulders slump of their own accord and I lean on my outstretched arms against the wall. My head drops down. _

It's over and I've lost everything in my life that matters to me. The only thing I can do now is to try to protect my ohana as best as I can from inside this prison.

_I straighten up and resume pacing my cell…_

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

If I confess to the murder and the theft, then maybe this will finally be over. Maybe Wo Fat will concentrate on me and leave the others alone.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… _

I just can't see any other way out of this. No one is going to look too hard at the evidence. I killed the Governor…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… _

As far as they're concerned, I'm guilty. There's no need to look any further. It doesn't matter anyway… I probably won't last long in jail.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

I'm powerless to do anything but pace my 8 foot by 10 foot prison cell. Solid iron door with two small slits in it – one for meals and one for visual checks.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…_

If I increase my step length, then…

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

If I shorten it…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

Because of my background, the only things in my cell besides the naked light bulb too high above me are the semi-primitive sink and toilet and the pallet for me to sleep on.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… _

I've been deemed too dangerous to have even a cot in here.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… _

There's nothing to occupy my mind, but – my mind. And I just wish I knew why!

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… _

I understand why Wo Fat orchestrated this latest attack – I got too close to taking him down.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

But why does this all – this hate – seem to be so personal?

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

I just don't understand… What did my family ever do to Wo Fat's?

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

_I reach the far wall again, but this time I stop, turn and lean my back against it._

I guess it doesn't matter why anymore. He's won.

_I close my eyes and sink to the floor folding myself into a corner. I bring my knees up and rest my arms on them. _

I'm alone.

_I drop my head to my arms and sigh heavily._

I'm done.

ooooooo

_The end._

**ooooooo**

**A/N:** Just so we're all on the same page, the numbers are Steve obsessively counting his steps (I even looked up stride length and step length for this!) as he paced. I know they were probably tedious to read after awhile, but I imagine Steve being like a caged tiger and the increasing and decreasing of the number of steps was supposed to coincide with his thoughts. The darker his thoughts or the more thoughtful he is; the more steps… Make sense?

_**Reminder**_: The second 'chapter' is _only_ an alternate version of this one shot – _not_ a continuation – and references my story _Still the Song._

If you would like to discuss the season finale, please feel free to PM me. _Please_ don't mention spoilers if you decide to review.

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	2. Stil the Song Version

**Title**: Caged

**Summary**: When all you have to do is pace, your thoughts can turn against you.

**Disclaimer**: Hawaii Five-0 is not mine. I'm just borrowing the concepts and characters for a little while.

**Spoilers**: Primarily for 1.24 Oia'i'o, but there is a mention of a major plot point from 1.23 Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau, and it references my story, _Still the Song_.

**A/N**: I thought of doing an episode related tag that follows along with the ideas presented in _Still the Song_ after episode 1.23, but I decided to wait to see what happened in the [evil] season finale.

I also didn't do my usual obsessive spelling and grammar checks…and I sort of ignored some legal issues/stuff.

ooooooo

_1… 2… 3… 4… _

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

It's over. Everything I've worked for is over.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

My life is over. Five-0 is no more.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

They think I killed the governor.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

Caught me with my gun in hand.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

I'm going to be dishonorably discharged from the Navy. Disgraced.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

O God, what would my father, my _grandfather_ think of me…?

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

I failed my team. Five-0 disbanded. I don't deserve to be a SEAL anymore.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

I saw Kono at booking. They must know she helped me steal from the evidence locker.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

Maybe I can make a deal… My life doesn't matter anymore.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

But maybe I can still save hers. Make sure she still gets to have a life of some sort.

_1… 2… 3… _

Mary.

4… 5…

What about my sister? Is she safe now? Or have I destroyed her life too?

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

Chin seems to be back with HPD. He's gotta know that I'd never –

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

Or, does he? And what about Danny? He said he was going to get me out of this…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

Believes I'm innocent, but he has his daughter – _she's_ his life – and I'm not really his family.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

He needs to focus on them. I don't matter anymore. I can't let him ruin his life for me.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… _

Wo Fat managed to take my family from me. Again.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

That damned song. Why did I have to hear it again? Why now?

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

I had to hear it, had to relieve those painful memories, but Danny pulled me out of it. And Danny and I…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

…we finally came to an understanding about how much we meant to each other. Brothers.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

I'd never known what it was like to have a true brother until Danny. And now…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…_

…it's gone…. That song… Every time I hear that song, my friends and family are taken away from me.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

I thought I'd beaten it this time… Finally after all these years… After so many…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… _

Only a day or two after hearing that song again…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… _

But, Danny recovered from the Sarin poisoning. He wasn't taken away from me and I'd thought the curse was broken.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

I should've known it wouldn't be that easy. I had so much more to lose this time around.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… _

Betrayed. Duped. Set up. My only hope is the lack of motive, maybe some of the forensics.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

But even if I'm cleared of murder, I'm still guilty of theft. My life is still over.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

It's my fault. All my fault. No question about it.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

Laura Hill's death is my fault. Kono being implicated in that theft is my fault.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

There's too much evidence against me. And, if Danny keeps looking into the case—

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

I can't risk his life. When Danny visits, I'm going to tell him drop it. To let me go.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

He needs to be with Grace, with Rachel. He can go back to Jersey. Start again.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

My life is done. His doesn't have to be. I couldn't survive knowing my brother died trying to clear me.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

And, I know he'd never forgive me if Rachel and Grace's lives—

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

Grace. I'll never be Uncle Steve again. I'll just become a distant, foggy memory.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

It's probably better this way. The song has finally won …

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…_

Has finally taken my life away instead of someone else's. Shut away like this, I may as well be dead.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

Solitary confinement. Or, what else is it called? Administrative segregation…for the rest of what remains of my life.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

I'm alone again. Just when I'd finally found my ohana and made a new life for myself.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

Found a brother in Danny. And now, it's gone. Taken away forever.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

My only chance to find any sort of peace with this…life…is to make a deal for Kono's. To separate myself from Danny and Chin.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

To be…alone.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… _

I've been in worse prisons than this, but never so unjustly imprisoned.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… _

My mistake was letting my emotions drive me. I shouldn't have…

_1… 2… 3… 4… _

…so grossly underestimated Wo Fat!

_1… 2… 3… 4… _

Damn it!

_I slam both my hands…once… twice…on the wall as hard as I can. The pain is a welcome punishment for my stupidity, my lack of foresight._

Wo Fat played me like a grand master of the chessboard. He's won and he's taken my life away… And I still don't know why!

_My shoulders slump of their own accord and I lean on my outstretched arms against the wall. My head drops down. _

It's over and I've lost everything in my life that matters to me. The song has finally decided to take my life instead of someone I love's. It's actually better this way. Between my life and the lives of those I love – there's no question of what I prefer.

The only thing I can do now is to try to protect my ohana as best as I can from inside this prison.

_I straighten up and resume pacing my cell…_

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

If I confess to the murder and the theft, then maybe this will finally be over. Maybe Wo Fat will concentrate on me and leave the others alone.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… _

I just can't see any other way out of this. No one is going to look too hard at the evidence. I killed the Governor…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… _

As far as they're concerned, I'm guilty. There's no need to look any further. It doesn't matter anyway… I probably won't last long in jail.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

I'm powerless to do anything but pace my 8 foot by 10 foot prison cell. Solid iron door with two small, secured slits in it – one for meals and one for visual checks.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…_

If I increase my step length, then…

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

If I shorten it…

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

Because of my background, the only things in my cell besides the naked light bulb too high above me are the semi-primitive sink and toilet and the pallet for me to sleep on.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… _

I've been deemed too dangerous to have even a cot in here.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… _

There's nothing to occupy my mind, but – my mind. And I just wish I knew why!

_1… 2… 3… 4… _

I understand why Wo Fat orchestrated this latest attack – I got too close to taking him down.

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5…_

But why does this all – this hate – seem to be so personal?

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_

I just don't understand… What did my family ever do to Wo Fat's?

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… _

_I reach the far wall again, but this time I stop, turn and lean my back against it._

I guess it doesn't matter why anymore. He's won.

_I close my eyes and sink to the floor folding myself into a corner. I bring my knees up and rest my arms on them. _

I'm alone.

_I drop my head to my arms and sigh heavily._

I'm done.

ooooooo

_The end._

**ooooooo**

**A/N:** For an explanation of the numbers, see the A/N in the other 'chapter.'

I hope this gives those who read _Still the Song_ a better idea of why Steve hates the song 'Wanted Dead or Alive' so much.

If you would like to discuss the season finale, please feel free to PM me. _Please_ don't mention spoilers if you decide to review.

**ooooooo**

_**Thanks for reading!**_


End file.
